Symptom spotting for the mad

Ok, any woman on the two week wait knows all about symptom spotting. Its a two week wait that will turn any sane, grounded women mad starting around 4 days past ovulating. This worst part of the TWW is that the early pregnancy symptoms often parallel PMS. Since I had the very short excitement of getting my BFP back in June I am trying to compare with that month, then I realized i didn’t right ANY of it down! SO i am going to start writing my symptoms down, in hopes it will bring a little less madness to my life.

So when i took my OPK on the 21 is was the same color as the control…which meant positive to me! then on the 22 the line was DARKER than the control…. hmm….. then on the 23, there was no line! SO I don’t know if I should base the + off the 21 or the 22 of October. So lets say the 22 just to keep a bit more sane.

Today would be 4 dpo.

  • Main thing that I remember having back in June that I am having now, is restless tiredness. I am SO tired and want to nap, but I can’t seem to fall asleep! very frustrating.
  • Night sweats? Maybe it the New england heat wave we are getting right now, but I work up last night POURING with sweat! My entire body was CLAMMY! then in .3 seconds i was freezing again, and then back to sweats!
  • Congestion. Now I can’t remember if i had this back in June, or maybe I am getting sick, but my nose is CLOGGED right now. Its terrible, even my husband asked if I was “doing ok” when he called me this morning.
  • Sore boobs. This one is a common occurrence. Though I did notice every month its usually pain on the outside of the breast wall, near the armpit. Back in June, i notices it was more the nips that were sensitive, as is the case this month!
  • The husband said my boobs looked “bigger, darker and more veiny” yesterday, but Im not sure if he is trying to make me feel better or not….so im not using this one just yet. lol
  • Heartburn. to the point i throw up after I eat because it hurts so bad!
  • My tastebuds are alive! I can taste everything right now, and it all tastes soooo good!
  • Lastly- Acne. WTF IS ON MY FACE! I NEVER get acne. ever.  Last night I was sitting in front of the mirror and noticed little pimples ALL over my chin and nose. Needless to say I told my husband I am turning in to a hideous-beast-monster and started crying.

Thats about it. I can’t really temp because of my swing shift schedule, but I did temp this morning and its 98.6. All other months when doing the BBT I’ve been right around 97.6! good thing?!

And finally. this is going to sound SUPER odd, but I have to believe its more that a coincidence. I read today that pineapple actually helps implantation! You should eat the core 1/5 a day start at 1 dpo and stopping at 5 dpo. the amount of women that were posting BFP’s was unreal. So what the hell, although I’m 4 dpo today, i figured it cant really hurt right?

Well back in May and June I had an ADDICTION to pineapple, and never thought that THAT may be the reason behind our bfp?

Madness I tell you!

So fingers crossed that the pineapple, the vacation, the lack of clomid and the fact i only have 37 days left in Trash-City  will be enough to make a little bean!

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Life in Hell

This really isn’t a negative post. I promise. It has been a while since i wrote anything because I am still dealing with the heartache and jealousy of not being able to get pregnant. But I may have the key!

One year ago my husband moved me from the home we bought together and loved so dearly, to the other side of the country…to the worst city you could possibly imagine. As SNL puts it “you could be in the 7th layer of hell, and STILL be 45 minutes outside my city”. People are nothing like they are back home. Here people are cold, uneducated, rude, loud, obnoxious, trashy and ruthless. You could lay dieing on the side of the road here, and people will honk as they drive buy because you are in their way. It’s been awful. I’ve had to endure this god-forsaken-shit-hole of a town for just over 365 days! I probably cry at least every other day, with the occasion weeks of crying EVERY day!

Well, back in June, my husband and I got to go back to our home for a week. I was so excited! the WHOLE month of May I was on cloud 9! And what happened? That was the month we got our first BFP! Even though it ended in a chemical, it was still a BFP. I was told I wasn’t broke. It was going to be ok. 2 months later, STILL no period. I was back in Trash-City and i could feel my blood pressure rise each morning I woke up. The Dr. put me on Clomid, and I did two rounds. My last round in September, I had 6 days of solid positive OPKS! We did it damn near every night, but certainly every other. 14 days I got my period. WHAT THE HELL! Talk about REALLY feeling broken and disheartened! I did the baby dance on the perfect days, with meds, and a positive OPK. nothing!

So I gave up. I threw in the towel. Aunt Flo came and I didn’t refill my Clomid. I figured it HAS to be the City I live in. It has to be creating some toxic chemical level that wont allow anything to grow inside of me.

We found out that we are MOVING back home in December! I have, again, been on cloud 9. I told the hubby we will wait to go back on Clomid when we get back home, where it will hopefully work.  In September, we  planned a mini vacation for October to get out of here for a while. We stayed a couple days  in a little cabin right on the Atlantic coast, in a quaint town 18 hours away from trash city. We drove the 1,004 miles to get there too! We took in the scenery, we talked, and yep….we ovulated!

No joke. 3 days into our trip, I started noticing a change in my CM. “It can’t be” I thought. I took an OPK. sure as shit, it was positive as the night is dark! I had one and a half days of positives, and we did the deed two days before the positive, then both days of positives. I am hoping that, along with the fact we only have 37 days until I get to move back home, will be enough to do it this month.

Now I find myself in the unexpected two week wait. I was not planning this. I was going to take the tree months off, since I knew we were going to be busy with moving ect, and did not need the added stress and disheartment of another BFN. I am 5 dpo right now and, like every month, im getting symptoms. Why does the two week wait have to be so long?! lol.

I’m trying to not be overly excited, but want to be. I have the tired, the hot flashes, the tenderness, did i mention the tiredness?! I am having mood swings, but thats normal every month. I guess here is to hoping. I can’t stop thinking that I might have actually done it this month! that we can go home and paint a babys room in the very home we bought with so much love.

If you happen to read this. Please say a little prayer of hope that this was the month we might just be able to conceive our little bundle of joy!