A Jealous Chi

Well, three months is certainly a long time to be absent. But so much has happened! Last we talked I was finding myself in the tww. Never the less, it still wasn’t our month. I did end up ovulating naturally and on time in November and December though! So, a small but very important win. December was crazy awesome! We moved out of Trash-City and back home to Chicago(burbs)!!!!! Gosh I have been on cloud nine for the last month and a half! It’s sunny. The people in my town are so incredibly nice! Life is just easier here. I haven’t had explosive fits of rage from when I lived out east, and I am on my way back to my old and happy self, I’ve even lost a couple pounds from just relaxing =)

So where does that leave me? We are still on the chase for a baby, and I’ve starting to feel the pain even more when someone announces they are pregnant. My husbands brother called last night to announce that after 4 months of trying, they are expecting! Halfway through my “congratulations” I broke out in to sobs, and had to run out of the room to keep them from hearing me. My husband tried to comfort me with “Don’t be mad or upset, our time will come”…..Sometimes I don’t thing men get it. Although I am happy, I am frustrated because I take care of my self so much better! I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I’m not overweight, I eat whole foods and mostly organic,  while she smokes damn near 2 packs of cigarettes a day, drink beer till the sun comes up, doesn’t eat well at all, and is able to conceive in 4 months?! GAH!

I know. I try not to be bitter or outraged, but I just wish it weren’t so hard for me. In the last couple of months, I’ve had 10 of my friends either announce or have babies! And then I get the “have you guys thought about wanting to have kids? You know our healthiest time to conceive is almost over” ….and then I want to punch then in the throat! almost THREE YEARS of trying to conceive!

Any who, no sense in getting to upset, it will only make matters worse. I established a new Dr. out here in the burbs who specializes in Infertility, so I am REALLY looking forward to seeing what he has to say!

 

I also have my inner Chi screaming at me, so I decided to sign up for my first round of Acupuncture! How do I feel about that? Scared shitless and excited all at the same time! This clinic has had tremendous results with infertility and acupuncture, so I am really excited! Hopefully I will be ringing in 2014 with sleepless nightss and shirts full of baby vomit!

I will report what the Dr. has to say about tomorrow, and my first acupuncture is on Saturday!

Till then,
Mrs. M

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