So last night, I was invited to a family members baby shower. Obviously I cried. But what makes matters worse, is that this family member and I (Sister in Law) don’t even get along. We are on opposite sides of the personality pole. She’s high maintenance, I am not. She is an indoors only kind of girl, I would live in a tent if I could. She eats all processed foods, smokes and drinks, and I enjoy the all natural, none GMO kinds of foods. She thinks she is above everyone else, I treat the janitor of the hospital with the same respect I would treat my Dr. She is open and judgmental on the flaws in my personality, I am bitter behind her back. So anyway, you get the picture….her baby shower is coming up. My Mother in law called all excited to invite me, with a hint of disappointment finding out I got my dream job, because now, I might not be able to make the shower….which is 9 hours away.
Pissy is an understatement of my attitude last night- I should have had a green face and carried a corn husk broom around the house. I’ve been really ornery the last couple of days. I just can’t deal with people. So I don’t want to go to the shower, and I am even more cranky that they were a little disappointed that I would be starting a job, and might miss it. My SIL lives 4 hours away….they have never come to visit, because the drive for her is too hard on her body. So we go there and visit every time. Our MIL’s house is 9 hours away, and of course, because I am childless and healthy, I am expected to make the journey for every F’ing occasion. So I told my husband, with teary eyes, that I didn’t even want to go. He got so upset and proceeded to tell me how disappointed he was in me, and that I should just “put aside” my feelings and be happy for her. SHE SHOULDN’T EVEN BE PREGNANT! GAH! I know I know… (she’d be saying the same thing about me)
So, naturally I wanted to kick my husband right in the liver after that remark, but, tapping into my inner Buddha, I refrained. We ended up having a really good conversation about how hard it is to attend these events, and then to attend it for someone who isn’t ready to have children, and who I already don’t care for, is going to be awful. I know I should be happy for her, but at least you ladies might be able to understand.
I was reading another bloggers blog today, and one of the comments below was explaining that, when dealing with infertility, a great book, What He Can Expect, When She’s Not Expecting, is a wonderful way of letting you husband really understand what is entailed with TTC. The tests, the complete invasions of our Vaginas, how second nature explaining to the DR on the other side of the line what your current cervical mucus is like, the heartbreak each month, the two weeks of crazy symptom spotting and back and forth of “Oh this is a good sign!” and “Ugh, Aunt Flow is definitely on her way”. We are still just in the Clomid stage, and nothing is worse than hearing my husband say “Do we have to do it tonight?” ugh!
I told the hubby about the book, and he said he would read it, and that it actually might help him “get it”.
So I wanted to pass it on to you ladies out there. Anyone read it? If not, anyone going to look into it as well?
Ps. I’m 8 DPO and my boobs hurt when I even think about them. Sadly, this is a normal sign that AF is getting ready for her 3 day extravaganza. My pup isn’t afraid of me either. I think the other day had to do with him getting into something he shouldn’t have. I am however, so tired I am thinking about calling it a night at 7 pm. I haven’t been sleeping well because I wake up SO thirsty 5 times a night. I really should learn to hydrate better.