I’m on CD 14….halfway there…sorta. This is the month I took 100 mg of Clomid. The side effects weren’t as noticeable as the 50 mg, but maybe that is because I took them at night instead of the morning? Or maybe I’m just getting use to the crazy hormones. I still sweat my ass off at night, I’m peeing every 2 hours at night because I wake up so thirsty….who knows. I certainly am not keeping track. What’s the point, right?
I’m taking OPK’s. Those things are so handy. I started my new job this week, and it seems like it’s going to be awesome. Boring and tedious right now, but I have my own cubical and I get to do my own thing. It’s nice. It’s slow pace and the people seem so wonderful….mostly my age too, so maybe I’ll meet some people finally! It’s boring not having friends, but we’ve only been in the area for a couple months, so I’ll give it some time. As I was sitting at my desk, the ladies decided to have a conversation about pregnancy and labor, since one of the ladies is due this week. They all have their experiences, and were explaining contractions. One of the ladies there said her Niece is due any day…shes 18 and lives with her mom, and the pregnancy was 100% unplanned. I did everything I could to not think about the knot brewing in my throat. One of them ask if I had kids, and I said “Oh no, not yet!” (in a very, I’m-from-Chicag-and-waiting-until-I’m-40 voice). She replied “Oh, well plan on having them in the winter, when you ever decided, because that’s our slow seasons (jokingly)”….I thought in my head ‘Lady, if I can have them any time of the year, it’s going to be a God Damn miracle’.
Anyway, so I’ve been taking OPK’s…I found them on Clearance at Meijer….a pack of 20 for $9.98! I ran to my husband and said “LOOK! They are being clearanced!!! These were $40, and they are on sale for $10! So I bought two boxes!!! 40 OKS for $20 bucks!!!”…HA! You know you are trying to conceive when you are more excited about OPKS on sale than you are about BOGO shoes!. Lol, anyway, at first they were so light they weren’t even registering on the OPK! I was a little frustrated, but I was still only on CD 10 and 11. They finally started getting darker yesterday…not positive dark, but darker, so I know I will get a “dark” one soon….which is good. Today I am on CD 14. I have a ton of EWCM…..I know you all wanted to know that, lol, but I’m using this blog as a reference guide too =P. The EWCM is a much welcomed sight. Especially at CD 14. I’m hoping that I will O in the next day or so…it will be nice, especially since on 50 mg, I was still doing a soft O on Cd 22.
I just want this to work. I want the 100 mg to really give be a beautifully strong ovulation. I have to remember, we had a chemical last month, so it might be possible to get it this month.
I’m so scared my, “it’s-never-going-to-happen” attitude is going to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. I don’t want it to be. I am trying to turn that around. I started a public board on my Pinterest, where I have been dropping all my baby nursery theme ideas in there, so it is a daily reminder that it will happen….right?
I deleted my Facebook. Almost two weeks now. Sad to say, I don’t miss it. After having it for 9 years, the peace of deleting it has been what I needed, especially when TTC and starting a new job. Too much going on in my life as it is, I don’t need to try and keep up with others. But my Pinterest is starting to reflect my Facebook. ALL my friends are posting pregnancy boards. I feel a little left out, so I created my own…you know….for when it happens, to be prepared, right? I also have a board of where I want to go on vacation, so If I can plan a vacation I want to go on, why can I plan a baby I want to have?
Ah, anyway. It’s St. Patricks day….I think we are going to go to a local Pub and listen to a live piper band. I’m going to drink. I feel guilty, but I still haven’t ovulated yet, and I just want to forget about all of it right now, and go and be normal. What does that even feel like any more?
Happy St. Patrick’s Day!
Sip a little more than you know you should.
Let the smoke roll, off your lips
Let it all go, whatever it is
And tip it on back I don’t wanna lose this feeling
And I don’t wanna close my eyes
I don’t wanna remember what I’m here to forget tonight
So tip it on back”
– Dierks Bentley Tip It On Back-