You can’t be serious

Oh, but my husband was 100% serious when he called me today while I was at work to inform me, that he got his “orders” to relocate, and he is due to be in Ohio in two weeks, for a 5 month stint….You know, trying to conceive with a defective reproductive system is hard enough….TTC when your spouse lives two states away is impossible.

At this point, it’s almost humorous, as how impossible it is for us to have kids. Maybe it’s not meant to be?  I just, I can’t even ponder that right now, because I want it to be, whether it’s meant to or not.

I started taking OPKS to work with me. Is that strange? I just, I’ve always taken them in the afternoon, and they seem to be stronger at 1 p.m then they are at 6:30 p.m….Has anyone else ever experience that?

Well today, I was on my lunch break, and I sneaked my OPK into the bathroom at work with me and I sat in the stall waiting for it to change. Two very very bright lines appeared. I was excited, but exhausted too. I’ve seen those two bright lines every month for the past 7 months on CD 19. It doesn’t really mean anything any more, other than go home and try baby dance my heart out, and then wait for two weeks.

I’m trying to be hopeful. This is my first month of 100mg of clomid. The only thing I’ve noticed is the lack of EWCM. (TMI ALERT), usually my EWCM is crazy abundant this time each cycle, and now, is not really there….. maybe that’s a good thing? Maybe too much was bad? I don’t know, I’m too exhausted to keep obsessing over it. Especially not that I have to worry about relocating my husband within the next two week.

This is our one chance in the next 6 months to try and catch the egg. No pressure. My

mood is very strange right now. I’m excited that I am ovulating, I’m upset that it’s still at CD 19 and not sooner, I’m nervous wondering if the clomid will give me an ovulation that will be strong enough to stay and produce a good egg, I’m exhausted from all the obsessing and trying, I’m feeling like life is mocking me by sending my husband two states away in the

midst of trying to conceive with medical intervention, I guess, I’m just a grab-bag full of mixed emotions.

Right know though, I’m tired. Tomorrow will be the end of my second full week of work. I’m finished with training, and now I’m just learning how to do my job and keep my head above water, which is exhausting in itself. I have so much going on, I just want to sit in my kitchen and cry, and I haven’t even started the emotional roller coaster of the two week wait, that will start tomorrow or the next day.

Who knows, maybe all this stuff going on will give me a chance to ‘forget’ about  TTC, and have it work? All I know, is we are going to baby-dance our little hearts out over the next three days, and do everything we can….until our next chance at it in August/September….

Till Then,

Mrs. M

7 thoughts on “You can’t be serious

  1. This is going to sound like a strange suggestion, but can you freeze some of your husbands sperm? There are DIY websites for this (usually the lesbians are pretty good at this kind of thing, if I do say so myself). It may not be as good of a quality as fresh sperm, but at least those months won’t be a total waste – you could do ICI on yourself (the turkey baster method). And just think, if it worked, your husband could knock you up while he wasn’t even in the state! Ha!

  2. My CM becomes hostile when I’m on Clomid, so that’s another reason why I do the IUI’s. If you just don’t have CM, you might want to try Preseed (I can’t bring myself to go with egg whites!). I’ve also read that we should eat/drink lots of carrots. Eh. It all feels like old wives’ tales at this point. GOOD LUCK!

  3. Good luck! And I am always WAAAY emotional when I take Clomid and a week after. Our hormones are going crazy but it is all for a better cause. At least I have to tell myself that. And I think Sarah had a great idea! Could you freeze some of your hubby’s spermies? Almost like an at home do-it-yourself kit lol. I would do that if my hubby was moving for five months. Much easier than the 5 hour drive each time you get a positive OPK! Either way, good luck. I like to think and hope that this will happen when we are thinking about it the least. I don’t buy into that whole stress=infertility. That’s just something that ignorant fertile people say. It’s kind of like a watched pot never boils. Sorry my comment’s thoughts are so varied, I am on my last day of Clomid and up and down every 1/2 hour both in temperature and emotions! Good Luck and much baby dust!!

    • AH! This baby making this is so stressful….especially now that the hubs is moving 😦 I think we are going to take the 5 months off from trying all together…we are going to have too….. I brought up the idea of freezing his sperm, and he wasn’t a fan….he said it would be to “unnatural” for him =\. He may not be allowed to take weekend off on this project, so there will be at LEAST a month or two , where he wont be able to come home, and with me just starting a full time job, there is no way I would be able to miss a couple days to go to him and try….ARGH! So unfair!

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