I am starting to feel a lot more empathy for Eve for choosing to eat the apple. Thousands of years later, she is still being cursed for causing us all to be ‘sinners’ along with being blamed for painful childbirth… “WHY Eve?! WHY couldn’t you just eat something else? Why the apple?” …..It’s because us women don’t have any God-damn self control. ( I know I know I know, it was because the serpent told her to do it)
I was like Eve in the bathroom this morning, but instead of an apple, i was admiring a pregnancy test. “Don’t do it….don’t pee on the stick of knowledge…it will only bring bad things!!!” I told myself. May I remind myself, that we DIDN’T have sex during the right times? We did manage to do it on the first day of the darkest positive, and then a couple days days…. so there was a glimmer of hope I refused to think about. That glimmer started getting a little more prominent as the days went by and my boobs hurt more and more…and I Mean HURT, i actually iced them last night!
If I couldn’t get pregnant having sex every day for 4 days straight,….what makes me think the one day of Positive OPKS will do the trick?
The husband was in the shower….the HPT was sitting on the counter, and I started to reason. Instead of “the apple looked so beautiful” It was “…I’m pretty sure these tests expire, and if we are going to be away from each other for 5 months…might as well use them up!” So I tore open the package and peed. And just as Eve was hurled out of the Garden of Eden, my mood spiraled straight down. Negative.
“Well not shit, what did you think it was going to be? and immaculate conception?” I told myself.
Poor Eve…. she just wanted an Apple like I wanted a BFP…. can we really blame each other?