Half way to Apathy

So half way thru the TWW. Still so pissed that I find myself in the TWW. I think I’m mostly pissed, because I’ve been feeling so much better. I haven’t been stressing, I am feeling normal and I am getting regular, so if it doesn’t work…I’m scared that It will NEVER happen, you know?

We had three straight days of +OPKs. We baby danced on the first and last. And now I just wait I guess. I have tried to not think about it, but the last week I haven’t been able to keep anything down. It started the day before I got my +opk, so I know it’s not an kind of sign, although everyone at work insists it is.

“I bet you are pregnant” and I reply “I’m not.” They reply “You don’t know that”. And I say a little too forcefully, “Yes I do…because 1. I know my cycle 2. If I haven’t been able to get pregnant in the 3 years I’ve been trying, and if I magically pregnant the time he is gone…I’m in either a lot of trouble, or it’s an act of God, and I’m not religious, and THREE…. I’ve been pregnant before, and I don’t feel the same, so I’m not pregnant.” end of that discussion.

Do my boobs hurt? Of coarse they do. They hurt every month… but actually this month they don’t hurt NEARLY as bad as the months previous. Maybe it’s because I’m taking Vitex, and that is suppose to help with PMS symptoms. The only thing different, is my sacroiliac joint hurts like a holy hell right now. So bad, in fact, that I am in tears at work because it hurts so terrible. I can’t bend over, I can  stand up to walk right away. I just sit there and keep shifting because It’s so uncomfortable. It’s got to be from running. Strange, because I’ve been running before, I’ve always been a runner, and I’ve never had this happen. 😦

I have had no cramps, no twinges, nothing. I’ve actually had more symptoms on months I thought I was pregnant, than I do now. My stomach issues were caused by excessive bile. Maybe I ate something bad? So I started taking some Zantac, and I feel sooooo much better!

We’ve been having some violent storms the last week, as much of the Midwest has…. It’s Saturday, I turned on the AC to get the muggy-ness out of my house, and I think I’m going to sleep the rest of the day. I have so much to do in terms or house and yard work, but I just don’t have the energy or care about it.

I have total apathy today….. More annoyance than anything. Maybe I can sleep it off.


Till Then,

Mrs. M

One thought on “Half way to Apathy

  1. I’m srry that u r feeling bad about being unwittingly in the 2ww. i wondered if this might happen. i mean u were bond to ovulate at some point when u were together for the weekend. Ik its impossible not to think about it, symptom spot ect but hopefully the time flys. and its really awesome that u ovulated on ur own with no clomid!! Best wishes for u ! 🙂

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