every little things gonna be alright

So a couple of months ago, 9 actually to be exact, my best friend told me she had conceived, and was planning a baby. 9 months ago I was crushed. I wasn’t the friend I should have been, because of infedtility jealousy… a vile emotion I wanted to get rid of more than having a baby.

Its hard for us to get those announcments. The last couple of months the hubs and i have been  teaching our selves to learn the new lifestyle we find ourselves in. I get the calla month ago that my bf will be induced.  Withouta single pang of jealousy I booked my flight to texas to give her the support she needs.

She’s been in labor for 4 hours. I’m doing what I can to help her, and I’m loving being here… but seeing the diapers and the baby blankets and the flowers,  it is now that I truly feel that this is not for me. No jealousy, no ill will, just complete understanding that I really was made for other things…and am thankful for I can finally, and honestly move on with my life.

 

4 thoughts on “every little things gonna be alright

  1. Im so impressed! I hope one day I can be ok with people and their babies right now I avoid them at all costs. My sister is pregnant and Im terrified as soon as she has the baby I’m going to lose my shit! (not in a psycho way but an “I can’t hold the baby” kind of way)

    • I hear you!! my husband was TERRIFIED with me going down, because he thought I too, was going to loose my shit. That I was going to hold the baby and break down and sob, and go out and spend $$$$$ forcing nature and mechanically making one …. I too was afraid…. but once I held that baby, I smiled and felt nothing….which made me feel incredible! I never thought I’d get here, and I’m loving it. My RE called today, and I told him that we would not be seeing him any time soon, and that we are quite happy with our life now.

      • Nice! Congrats on being done for now and enjoying life as it is and THANK YOU for making me feel better! I’m so glad I’m not the only one who had that fear.

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