Tests

So our baby story started about two years ago when we first got married. The NIGHT of the honeymoon we were off contraceptives!!. We are in our mid-twentis, good jobs, so why not? All in all we want four children, close together….and lets be serious, we aren’t getting any younger.

Never the less, after  one year of “seeing how it goes’  we are still a two family couple. the second year we started tyring a little bit harder..you know, temping, CM watching (TMI!) fertility monitors….and still nothing! This is ridiculous, I think. We’ve done a lot in our couple years og being married, so I chalked it all up to stress. Once I got rid of stress factors….still nothing. Ok this is starting to become heart breaking for me. YEARS and YEARS, we’ll,  since I was 15 years  old actually, all I’ve ever wanted to be is a mother, and yet each year I see another bottom feeder of societey get pregnant from some once night stand. Harsh I know, but I’m sensitive! WHY can’t a person like me, not be able to have kids?! Is it Karam? Is it because I do look down on those people that are living off  welfare but still manage to fire children out of there vagianas like it’s a clown car?

Ok…im gettign bitter. I’m learning to not be so bitter. I’m failing at it, but it’s a work in progreess.

So anyway, Today, I decided I’m doing it, I’m going to the Dr and telling her I am broken. It was nail biting. I hate the city I live in — everyone here is rude, so I was just imagining walking in there and having them tell me to come back in yet, another year, or when I’m older,and just keep at it.holy cow was I ever wrong! Not only were they the sweetest people I think I have ever met, they made me feel like ‘yes, this is a good time for you, we’ll help you towards your goal”!

I left there with a whole battery of tests to make sure I am working ok. I feel like a thousand lbs has been lifted off me. Now I can actually SEE what is going on with me, and possibly, hopefully, be able to fix it easily, and be on our way to starting a family.

Gosh. just thinking about it I am beyond excited and nauseated at the same time. But I’m 27, I can do this right? Women were built with the mental and physical capability of child birth….right?

I am so having my fingers crossed that one of these tests shows a viable reason for why I havent been able to conceive, and it is the simplest of fixes!

tomorrow…its hubbys turn!

3 thoughts on “Tests

  1. Good luck and make sure you are prepared for not so great news cuz its way worse if you don’t, I know cuz I have been there. But the good news is there is a huge comunity of people/bloggers to I’ve you lots of support.

    • Thank you ladies so much! I was shocked that I actually had people read this! This blog is meant to be an outlet of what I’m going through. We aren’t telling the family we are trying, and its so hard to try and keep it all in all the time! so I though maybe if I kept a journal it will help — but the support TOTALLY shocked me and made my day! Thank you Ladies and good luck too you too if you are trying!

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