The strangest thing happened over the weekend when I went to go visit my husband! We decided it would be fun to go to the Cincinnati Zoo during their Zoo Blooms weekend where all there tulips are blooming! It was so pretty, and I was so excited to be with my man for the whole weekend!
Well we get there, and everyone else in Cincinnati thought it would be the perfect Saturday for the zoo as well. I’m not even kidding, we were the ONLY couple without children and a stroller. As we pull into the parking lot, we see the parade of strollers marching towards the ticket counter, and my husband very kindly smiled at me, and said, “we can go somewhere else”. But I have an enough with my avoidance of pregnant women, children and baby. I refused to have it ruin my weekend with my husband. So I told him to press on, we’ll do it together, but if i star to cry, he can’t be judgmental.
So we are standing in line, in between to families with children….scream cranky children. The parents in front of me are just screaming at their children to sit down in the stroller or they are “going home and not seeing Elephants!”…yikes. My husband and I exchange glances, thinking the same thing, but refusing to say it out loud. After we get or tickets, we start walking around the Zoo and having the best time. We laughed until we were crying, we held hands, stole a couple kisses next to the Flamingo exhibit, and strolled around leisurely chowing down on some tasty funnel cake . Kids were everywhere. Some were running amock, others were tethered to their parent by a least, others were on the ground pouting and crying.
We decided it would be fun to take a train ride, and while we were waiting, we laughed cause we thought maybe the train is just for kids, because we were the only ones in line without them! As I looked around, I noticed how unhappy all the parents where. Not a single smiling couple. There was no family “enjoying” a day at the zoo. It was a rushed mad house.
Okay, so get to the point, right? The point is, I didn’t cry. I didn’t feel remorse seeing all the kids and their family’s….I just felt love for my husband. Love that we were doing something fun together…..together being the key word. Seeing these families miserable made me scared….do kids do that?! Maybe instead of being so miserable and sulking in the fact that I do not have kids…maybe I should remember just how lucky I am to be with my husband and be ‘Oh, so in love’. We can still laugh, and smile and show a little bit of flirtatious PDA….and I had to wonder….After spending the last two/three years jealous over those who had the ability to bare children, were there any parents out there amongst the sea of children, who were jealous of us? childless, happy, in love, and on a zoo date?
Don’t get me wrong, I still plan on hopping back on board the TTC train when the hubs gets back into town, but I know the grass always seems greener on the other side, and there comes a time you need to realize that if you take the time to water your own ‘grass’, it could be just as green.
so the moral of the blog….is that I’m starting to find normal again. To not cry and be overcome my jealousy and anger. In fact the pregnant girl at work has been talking more and more about her pregnancy, and I haven’t felt even a pang of jealousy towards her! It’s like it’s vanished…..I saw another pregnant lady at the zoo and I thought “whew, i do not envy her….she has got to be SO uncomfortable in this heat”!…
.Am I finally getting out of that black hole of craziness that consumed my life the last couple of years?! I think so, and it feels so damn good!!!!