A tale of two lines

So  I promised…. I swore, I wouldn’t take a pregnancy test, but as soon as I walked down the .88 Cent aisle at Walmart that was filled with HPT’s I figured, “what the hell…I’ll buy 4!”

So the last three days I have been taking them in the morning before work. I shower, get dressed, and before I run out the door – nadda. Stark white….. But when I get HOME there are definitely two lines there…shadows may they be, but there are two…..

I walk in the bathroom after work, close the lid, sit down and have to ponder…are these two lines evap lines, or early faint +’s? I have many tests before the last three days, and have not had any that resulted with evap lines, even days after. The  lines I hold in my hands are visible from when you walk into the room and just look at the HPT on the counter….no taking it apart, no bending it in the light. 

I came home today, and it was still so faint, but yet there. I was on the phone with my hubby and said “Fuck!” and when asked why the sudden outburst, all I could tell him was “The pregnancy test I took this morning has two lines….God damn it.” 

Wait….shouldn’t this be a good thing? Shouldn’t I be jumping up and down with joy? crying and telling my entire family that we did it?!  Shouldn’t I be piecing together some cute sign to show him via skype?

No. because I know that this will past….I’m more worried about it “passing” during my first 5K tomorrow. I’ve been through this before. The cramps come and go, and get stronger and stronger each time they come…maybe a couple hours apart? The tests still waive between faint positive and stark white negative. They never get dark, and they are never fast appearing. 

I have accepted this. I know it’s my progesterone. My progesterone the last time I had it checked was 8 and that was ON chlomid, which had  made it double from the level 4 before I took it. I can get pregnant, but I sure as hell stay pregnant. It has to be the low progesterone right? 

I can’t wait for the hubby to get back in November/December so we can go see someone again. Remember right before he left, I said he was only going to be gone for a 3-4 month project and it will be a nice break from TTC? Well ladies, it has turned into a 9-10 month project, with a possible 3 extra month extension on top of that! GRRRR!

This will get better right? I want to focus all my energy into running….. and if I can’t have kids, and least I don’t want my running to be affected…. to miscarry a VERY early chemical on the day of your first race would just be a hard, cold, bitch slap in the face from all the powers that Be. 

Low progesterone could be the culprit right? or is my husband and I’s DNA just THAT incompatible?

Till then, 

Mrs. M 

9 thoughts on “A tale of two lines

    • I havent yet, because we havent been together long enough to try anything. We did chlomid for two months when we got back home, and then he had to leave, and is gone for 10 months 😦 As soon as we are together, we will get on that ASAP….. hopefully it iwll work!

      • I took the shot and loved it. the suppositories are nasty and a hassle and the pills made me dizzy. the shot is just quick and easy but cost wise I’m not sure which is cheapest. I hope that you guys are able to get this all sorted out soon. it really sucks how long your hubby has been gone! 😦

  1. If you do take the progesterone, beware of the sleepy side effects. I took the suppository and it literally kicked my butt. Luckily, I took it on the weekend, but I was soooo tired I could barely get out of bed – lol. All kidding aside, it can be potent stuff so just be aware of that if you take it. Of course, it may have just been me too…not really sure if everyone has the same side effect. I will tell you this though it really will boost your numbers. I think after I took it and then had my blood test – it was at a 34, which I had never had before so it really does work. Hopefully, the lines are going to get darker and darker everyday because you are indeed pregnant. Praying for the best for you!

  2. I know you love running but I wouldn’t be doing any race if there’s a chance you could be pregnant? And yes progesterone helps, I’m on 3 pessaries a day. Going through industrial quantities of panty liners but it’s working so I don’t care 🙂 Hoping those lines get stronger for you x

    • I’ll check it out as soon as the hubby gets home – or I quit my job to be with him. My ‘aunty’ visited this morning, damn near right on time, without the horrible horrible cramps I get from a chemical….which leads me to believe that those were just evap lines, or a problem with the cheap tests….or, who knows, but there is/was nothing I can do about it now 😦

      Gosh I can’t wait until I can live with my husband again and we can ‘get this show on the road’. I’d like to know if I can get pregnant with medical assistance, or if we should stop stress about this and move on with our little single lives. you know?

  3. running is my sanity!! i think i have a similar progesterone issue. i said screw it all and registered for a marathon next month. people are like… it’s more important you get pregnant than run a race…. well… no, my sanity is more important actually. but thanks. ugh. so go run and enjoy!

    and just a little background, i had a chemical a few days after a 10 mile training run and oh the guilt! i blamed that run for quite awhile. but i don’t now, my RE assured me running is okay and didn’t contribute. not trying to give you advice, just sharing as a fellow infertile runner 🙂

    • Thank you! That was fantastic to hear. My husband actually asked me if I am “hurting my chances” more by running….I think I stress SO much less, that I should be helping my chances! Good luck on your marathon! I ‘m far to chicken-shit to do more than a 5k right now, but in time 🙂

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